View 3,400 found grocery lists

This is the complete collection in chunks of 100 (well, at least what’s been posted online so far).


  • Lists: 3301-3400

    Lists: 3301-3400

    Uploaded on November 25, 2011.

    “I’m taking Viagra and drinking prune juice — I don’t know if I’m coming or going.”
    —Rodney Dangerfield

  • Lists: 2901-3000

    Lists: 2901-3000

    Uploaded on June 18, 2011.

    “Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don’t eat pork. I’m sorry, what was that last one?? Don’t eat pork. God has spoken. Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?”
    —Jon Stewart

  • Lists: 2501-2600

    Lists: 2501-2600

    Uploaded on May 3, 2011.

    “It’s the secret for beautiful guacamole or fruit salad. Also potatoes, cauliflower and turnips stay white when you add lemon juice to the cooking water.”
    —Emily Hines

  • Lists: 2101-2200

    Lists: 2101-2200

    Uploaded on November 27, 2009.

    “My spelling is Wobbly. It’s good spelling but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.”
    —A. A. Milne

  • Lists: 1701-1800

    Lists: 1701-1800

    Uploaded on November 4, 2007.

    “You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”
    —George Carlin

  • Lists: 1301-1400

    Lists: 1301-1400

    Uploaded on October 18, 2006.

    “If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil.”
    —Doug Coupland

  • Lists: 901-1000

    Lists: 901-1000

    Uploaded on October 10, 2005.

    “A boy doesn’t have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn’t like pie when he sees there isn’t enough to go around.”
    —Edgar Watson Howe

  • Lists: 501-600

    Lists: 501-600

    Uploaded on December 30, 2004.

    “I won’t eat any cereal that doesn’t turn the milk purple.”
    —Bill Watterson

  • Lists: 101-200

    Lists: 101-200

    Uploaded sometime in 2000.

    “But for the time being, I’ve only learned one cake recipe and how to make scrambled eggs.”
    —Eva Herzigova

  • Lists: 3201-3300

    Lists: 3201-3300

    Uploaded on November 25, 2011.

    “I said Yo Jay, I can rap. And I spit this rap that said I’m killin’ ya’ll *****s on this lyrical sh*t, mayonnaise colored Benz, I push Miracle Whips.”
    —Kanye West

  • Lists: 2801-2900

    Lists: 2801-2900

    Uploaded on May 22, 2011.

    “What I love is a peanut butter and pickle sandwich. I’ll just have peanut butter and bananas, then peanut butter and pickles. Peanut butter and chocolate I don’t recommend.”
    —Dianne Wiest

  • Lists: 2401-2500

    Lists: 2401-2500

    Uploaded on April 26, 2011.

    “My mother fried corned beef, she boiled it, she baked it, she put rice in it, she disguised it in corn bread, she boiled it in soup, she wrapped it in cloth, she beat it with a hammer, she banged it against the wall, she threw it onto the ceiling.”
    —James Baldwin

  • Lists: 2001-2100

    Lists: 2001-2100

    Uploaded on November 26, 2009.

    “I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and… I believe in miracles.”
    —Audrey Hepburn

  • Lists: 1601-1700

    Lists: 1601-1700

    Uploaded on November 4, 2007.

    “It is impossible to think of any good meal, no matter how plain or elegant, without soup or bread in it.”
    —M.F.K. Fisher

  • Lists: 1201-1300

    Lists: 1201-1300

    Uploaded on August 11, 2006.

    “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
    ―Lily Tomlin

  • Lists: 801-900

    Lists: 801-900

    Uploaded on October 4, 2005.

    “If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.”
    —Jack Handy

  • Lists: 401-500

    Lists: 401-500

    Uploaded August 14, 2004.

    “Yeah, I like cars and basketball. But you know what I like more? Bananas.”
    —Frankie Muniz

  • Lists: 1-100

    Lists: 1-100

    Uploaded sometime in 1999.

    “I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’”
    —Steven Wright

  • Lists: 3101-3200

    Lists: 3101-3200

    Uploaded November 25, 2011.

    Randy: Napoleon, give me some of your tots.
    Napoleon: No, go find your own.
    Randy: Come on. Give me some of your tots.
    Napoleon: No. I’m freakin’ starved. I didn’t get to eat anything today.
    [Randy kicks Napoleon's pants pocket, ruining the tater tots]
    Napoleon: Ugh. Gross. Freakin’ idiot!
    —From “Napoleon Dynamite”

  • Lists: 2701-2800

    Lists: 2701-2800

    Uploaded on May 15, 2011.

    “Ethyl formate, which gives raspberries their flavour and smells of rum, has now been found in deep space. Astronomers searching for the building blocks of life in a giant dust cloud at the heart of the Milky Way have concluded that it tastes vaguely of raspberries.”
    —Ian Sample

  • Lists: 2301-2400

    Lists: 2301-2400

    Uploaded on March 23, 2011.

    “As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone’s psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections — there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we live right down the river from that old bread factory.”
    —Dwight Schrute, The Office

  • Lists: 1901-2000

    Lists: 1901-2000

    Uploaded on August 27, 2009.

    “You know, when you get your first asparagus, or your first acorn squash, or your first really good tomato of the season, those are the moments that define the cook’s year. I get more excited by that than anything else.”
    —Mario Batali

  • Lists: 1501-1600

    Lists: 1501-1600

    Uploaded on April 3, 2007.

    “Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.”
    —Mitch Hedberg

  • Lists: 1101-1200

    Lists: 1101-1200

    Uploaded on August 11, 2006.

    “I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.”
    —Fran Lebowitz

  • Lists: 701-800

    Lists: 701-800

    Uploaded on March 22, 2005.

    “Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.”
    —Roseanne Barr

  • Lists: 301-400

    Lists: 301-400

    Uploaded sometime in 2003.

    “At my age, I don’t buy but a half a loaf of bread, you know?”
    —Merle Haggard

  • Lists: 3001-3100

    Lists: 3001-3100

    Uploaded on November 25, 2011.

    “What’s her name? Diana? Deena? She looks exactly like Snooki, like 4 feet tall, short little meatball, exactly like Snooki.”
    —Someone from Jersey Shore

  • Lists: 2601-2700

    Lists: 2601-2700

    Uploaded on May 15, 2011.

    “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
    —Dave Barry

  • Lists: 2201-2300

    Lists: 2201-2300

    Uploaded on August 21, 2010.

    “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.”
    —Woody Allen

  • Lists: 1801-1900

    Lists: 1801-1900

    Uploaded on September 14, 2008.

    “I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.”
    —John Belushi

  • Lists: 1401-1500

    Lists: 1401-1500

    Uploaded on April 3, 2007.

    “I’m shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won’t sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I’m certainly not going to go on somebody’s lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress?”
    —Farrah Fawcett

  • Lists: 1001-1100

    Lists: 1001-1100

    Uploaded on March 11, 2006.

    “I give you Chicago. It is not London and Harvard. It is not Paris and buttermilk. It is American in every chitling and sparerib. It is alive from snout to tail.”
    —Henry Louis Mencken

  • Lists: 601-700

    Lists: 601-700

    Uploaded on January 15, 2005.

    “I’ve made so many movies playing a hooker that they don’t pay me in the regular way anymore. They leave it on the dresser.”
    —Shirley MacLaine

  • Lists: 201-300

    Lists: 201-300

    Uploaded sometime in 2002.

    “But one led to two, two led to four, four led to eight, until at the end it was about 85 a day — the doctors could not believe I was taking that much. And that was just the valium — I’m not talking about the other pills I went through.”
    —Corey Haim